tired of trying to cope

Dunno. I dunno if I can endure any more longer.

Call me lousy. Call me immature. Those of u who don't understand, shut the fuck up and close this damn window.

I'm overwhelmed by my topsy turvy emotions, haunted by negative thoughts, angered at the slightest irritation. I'm trying to cope, trying to accommodate and help out. I'm trying to do things even though my leg and back is killing me. But I dunno how long more I can endure all this. I'm probably blinded by my emotions at e moment, hence can't think straight, can't think fairly.

Sure all these will be over in another month. Then there will be two kids to handle. I hope that I will be stronger soon.

But one thing I'm quite sure. I'm stopping at two. Circumstances and situations are looking uncertain as age catches up w me and my family members. And I don't want to feel all this negativity again. Don't want. I feel insecure, ugly, unwanted, unattractive, useless, drained. The list is endless.

So what if its cny? It doesn't feel like one.