been away long enough

I mean, I've been away from my faith long enough. The negative thoughts and opinions brewing in my mind are getting so crowded in my head that I know I know I know that it's time to start to be a good girl again.

I haven been attending service and life group. I haven been praying, haven been reading the word. All these actually dont mean a thing when u do it like a routine or out of habit. When I don't do it, I'll start feeling guilty first.. Then when it gets too long, i will start to feel indifferent and now I'm kinda at the stage where I can feel all the side effects coming in eg negative thoughts and disbelief.

It's not as though I never backslided before. I have and I was away for 7 years. It's really not difficult to backslide. It's just a decision to stop doing everything that's related to the faith and lead life your way.

Now, I'm not going to make that decision. It's different this time. I do have a relationship with God now, unlike the last time. It's just that life now for me is kinda out of balance and I am kinda overwhelmed with so many issues on hand.. Some expected, some not. I will not feel guilty for not attending church this time round. I will not feel guilty for not reading the bible. Guilt is merely a feeling the devil loves to use to make me feel lousy and I know God's grace is sufficient for me.

I am going to be out of action for a while, that's for sure. God is still watching out for me. God still loves me as much as that time when He died and rose for me. That's what keeps me going.